Apr 25, 2010

sweet sundays: the path less taken

Sometimes our baser human instincts take over in emotional situations and we react poorly. I hate when I overreact and have to backtrack, and apologize or I feel bad like if I saw the person at church or work or they turned out to be a family friend I'd be embarrassed. I'd much rather do it right the first time but since I'm not perfect, that does not always happen. When it does, I feel so much better about myself. There's an important lesson in knowing we don't have to be rude or crass to stand up for ourselves.

Something that happened last week reminded me of this. It's a Raf story. He doesn't want his pics on here but at least I can blog about him lol. For months he'd trained with this company for a position that he's wanted for sometime now. Finally, the training was completed and he began to work with the company. At the outset he explained that although he is willing to come in on Sundays, he would not be avail to work every Sunday. This is totally fair since he works Mondays-Fridays. In addition, it isn't required to come in on Sundays. However, one of the supervisors (a particularly rude one too that consistently gives employees grief) decided that he'd disregard that and every Sunday, he calls Raf. Oh, and even though Raf's requested less work on Sunday so he can get home at a decent time, he's been working past sunset on Sundays, then heading in early the next morn. Last Sunday, Raf decides he isn't going in. He's had a number of 6 day work-weeks in a row and needs a break. So as a courtesy (not required) he calls on Friday to inform them he's not available on Sunday. The particularly rude supervisor passes the phone to a colleague because how dare Raf not come in on Sunday when there's work to be done? The colleague is pleading for Raf come in but Raf can hear the other supervisor in the back ground complaining in a very argumentative manner that he MUST come in, he HAS to come in. Threatening, yes? I think so too.

Now, do I need to tell you about Caribbean males? Let me not stereotype widely. Jamaican men are VERY proud, and they don't take being disregarded or disrespected lightly. It would not be a stretch for Raf to put him in his place. Trust me. He can be rough...well, used to be. But he wasn't and I am so proud of him. What he did was drop off the equipment and company vehicle, call the administrator, and respectfully leave the position (she didn't want him to go but he explained the situation completely). Come Monday, he is being called repeatedly by said supervisor. When he finally speaks to him, supervisor apologetically asks him what happened and if there's anything they can do (yeaaa, act like you don't know). When Raf says no because he can't seem to have a decent conversation without being talked down to (even tho Raf's complained of this before). Supervisor's like "you know you can talk to me" and basically begs him to come back in so they can work out any differences amicably and with respect. So, Raf is back on the job. Supervisor is now mindful of his manner when dealing with Raf (if not other employees - can't expect too much now). & as usual Raf has a 100% IVR (ranking/rating system). Go babes!

Sometimes, people make it so hard for us to exhibit character traits that are attractive. They just push us to respond with our baser instincts. But thank God, sometimes, we hold on to our temper and take the higher road.

Be gone bad-man-isms! Be gone probably-you-neva-heard-a-mi!

I say choose the path less taken this week & the rest of your life...sometimes the results may not be desirable but if you walk away with your character intact, then what did you lose? Nada :) You in fact gained a world of dignity, self respect, and the admiration of those around you.


  1. (standing ovation) Go Raf!!! I heard the story before but it does encourage you to take the road less traveled....

  2. wow....i have been through something like this before too...and the both times i left, they did ask me to come back...i didn't go though...thanks for this honey, xoxo

  3. Way to go Raf! That was a great moment for him and for you to see everything he's been through. I bet you were one proud wifey!

  4. Thanks ladies! Sometimes people want to just try our patience but we have to remember to carry on with dignity and let them carry on with the nonsense