Jan 29, 2010


Getting it from others, and giving it to people are both very difficult. But guess what is rewarding though? Coming to the realization that those who love and care for you, will always support and offer a sense of acceptance.
My wedding day. This is my Auntie Marcia giving me a huge hug. I kinda jumped into her arms when I saw her show up at the door of the hotel room I was getting dressed in. This was my first teary eyed moment that day. Why? Because I could feel the love, strength, & support pouring from her to me. She loved me, wished me the best, and every happiness. Even today, loving words of advice still pour out from her.

I had to learn to live without acceptance from certain persons in my life because it was too exhausting to keep vying for it. Trying to do things, say things, eat things, wear things, be places, and stress over things because so-and-so doesn’t like this, or this person isn’t talking to that person, or "I did it for you, so now you should do it for me." I had to let it all go. I am glad who I am, is good enough for those who love me. I mean, people do disappoint from time to time. It is the nature of the process. I am sure I have disappointed people, and sometimes people disappoint me. But there's this thing called forgiveness - you gotta give it to receive it!

I am not saying I don't care what others think or that you can't have an opinion on something going on in someone's life, especially someone you love. What I am saying is that you (or I) shouldn't be thinking about someone else's life so deeply that there is a need to provide constant commentary or criticism. It is in poor taste and it is hurtful. What I am saying is I try my best not to spend time constantly evaluating my friends' and family's decisions and actions to see if they meet my level of approval. Of course, I have my standards. I would never knowingly have friendships or be close with people who were criminals, unethical, deceptive, malicious, or dangerously selfish. In addition, I would never sit aside and see a friend or family hurt physically or emotionally, or in a bad situation, and keep it shut. That's for wimps. But I have stopped trying to place Shumpy’s Stamp of Approval on anyone. My opinions remain my opinions, and they are how I live my life, but they don’t have to be my friend’s or family’s opinion. I have come to learn that being a great friend involves not being selfish or demanding. I have to allow people to give and not force it from them. Ever since I realized that, I have released myself from the pressure of doing things to please people and having out of proportion expectations from those in my life.

My aim in life is to be true to myself while taking care not to injure those around me. Being the true you should never become hurtful, poisonous, or isolating. It should be something others admire.
"Real strength is a decision and can be found within each of us. It is our opportunity to awaken our inner strength and live the life we desire; to create, explore, and accomplish the things we hold dear. It takes strength to be in a loving relationship, raise a family, be yourself, and allow others to be themselves."

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”
Peace Pilgrim

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness. Nothing is so gentle as real strength."
Frances De Sales

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