Day 7

4 lbs down!

I couldn't be happier & more motivated to keep at it. Check my sidebar ticker out :) If you click on it, you'll see all the gory details.

So how's the diet going? Slowly but surely. I did have a huge black and white cookie, and overate a bit on Sabbath (who doesn't) but I was always mindful so I made adjustments to my diet. Just like instead of having all my banana chips at one sitting, I've separated the bag into 3 servings. Progress, people.

Gym? I did exactly 3 times this week. I wanted to go on Sunday but life wouldn't permit and I'll be busy again this coming Sunday so we'll see...can I tell you, I introduced Hugh to kick boxing & now he knows true pain...teehee, he had to skip out half way. Like his sis though, he's a glutton for punishment and ready for more this week.

sweet sundays: My mother

I never have words for my mom. I can't. I don't know how to express the overwhelming feelings that swell through me and to the center of my being when I think of her, who she is in general, who she is to others, and all she means to me. If I could bundle it all up and throw it out, it would result in instant world peace, end to starvation, plus rainbows and hearts a-plenty. Basically, overwhelming love, respect, and admiration.

Devon House, Kingston, Jamaica mid-1980s

I'm not saying she's perfect. But she is perfect for me. We don't always agree but somehow we always settle on level plain. I think it is because she loves me so much. Not to be presumptuous but I imagine having a child at 24 years of age in the early 1980s in a fairly traditional culture couldn't have been easy. Not even if you happen to be an educated, strong, modern thinking, and highly opinionated woman (and boy, is she ever opinionated! haha). I like to imagine she determined that despite the unknowns, her little Shumpy would exist, be the apple of her eye, and she has always made me feel that way. Yup, even after the mango of her eye (her true fruit love) and the papaya of her eye (another fruit I know she loves) came into the picture - my sibs won't appreciate the description.

my 21st birthday. my mother, the consumate party planner.

My wedding day, Dec 2006. my mother, my rock & support.

I am 27 and am yet to be weaned off my mom. Of course physically we've been living in separate countries for 10 years, and I can totally physically manage day to day living without her - I have always enjoyed my own company, and manageable bursts of others. But that's because I have her love and support bolstering me...I am yet to become emotionally independent of my mom. I think of her everyday, and I remain content just knowing she is breathing and safe somewhere (though I'd like for it to be closer to me).

Let's take a break from all the soppy crap. My mother is a remarkable woman. She is an active and advancing worker. Never settling for mediocre and always demanding excellence from herself and her staff. She went on to achieve her masters degree after having a child (that would be me), and has since continuously advanced in her field. She continues to seek knowledge, participating in conferences and seminars internationally. Further, she is well rounded. She is an active participant in her church community, and gives back to society everyday. Not only by raising semi-normal children (no criminals, all sensible, and caring persons - quite a feat in todays day and age), but also by being a great wife, aunt, sister, daughter, and friend, and by giving of her time and efforts to the community. But don't count her out! She is no staid old woman. My mom not only looks young and is fit (still competes in foot races on the beach with her kids *smile*), but also has rhythm, plays a decent game of monopoly, an impressive game of scrabble, can cheer on her alma mater in sporting events with the gusto of a teenager, has the most refined taste in clothing and accessories, and still knows how to kick it back in the country with a pan of mangoes. She does it all with effortless elegance and style. From the boardrooms of Kingston, New York, Toronto, and London; to churches, rural and urban; to Ivy League institutions; to squeezing 7 into my little one bedroom before my wedding; to stylish hotels in Europe; to Disney World with her kids; to cutting it up on the dance floor of a family wedding; to good ole Sligoville. She is the epitome of an international super mom.

My mother is the best example of nurturing I know. Yes, I had to get back to the sentimental. She is so good at taking care of her children I cannot imagine the day we will need to take care of her. I wonder if I'll be as good at it as she was. I sure hope so. She deserves it. For all the support, understanding, and love she's given me. Allowing me to share good news, vent, laugh, yell, hug (aka squeeze the life outta her..it can get violent), kiss (she and I have a kiss-bite on the cheek hybrid), and just be myself with her (even when she doesn't agree) has helped me become the woman I am today. As long as she lives I know I'll always have a champion in my corner.

& that's all I need.

I'll never be alone as long as I live because of who she is.

She has always held my hands in love & support, and always will...

I love my mommy.

--Happy Mother's Day to all the fantabulous moms out there--

girly fridays: relaxed or natural?

Does it matter?

There are a few theories out there but I'm gonna focus on the two that insult me the most:

1. Black women with relaxed or processed hair aren't proud of their heritage

2. Black women with natural hair look unkempt and ugly

First, all the sensible women out there know there's nothing to be done about changing your heritage. You can't walk into a salon, or your local beauty supply store and buy a new history/culture/heritage. You are who you are. If you look anything like me, you can't hide it lol.

Second, I love to see women embrace their natural texture. I think they look as beautiful and very well put together as any other woman who is careful about her appearance. I have friends who are natural who look fantastic (same for those who are relaxed) and the assumption that leaving our hair the way it grows out of our head as God intended is unattractive, is insulting to me.

I am black and my hair could be short, long, relaxed, natural, or I could be bald. That has absolutely nothing to do with the pride I have in my heritage. Yes, there are women who have issues with their hair and their identity as black people - that kind of insecurity stems from a number of places and is way more complicated than a relaxer. I understand that and I'm sorry for them. For me, hair is cosmetic. I want my hair to look good (I have a personal definition of that which is totally subjective and that's okay). Good looking hair is healthy, shiny, flattering to the wearer, and visually appealing to me. Bad looking hair comes in relaxed and natural. Trust me lol, I've seen it. & so does unkempt and unattractive. Matter of fact, all of that comes in various shapes, colors, and textures.

I have contemplated going natural before and truth is, in the good ole Jamaican slang, mi nasty and I can't bother. I honestly don't think I could comb it. The only possibility out there for me currently is locs and I don't like the commitment it requires. At all. But you never know. My mom just went natural...maybe she can teach me a few things. In any case, I will go natural eventually (the non locs type). My natural hair (which I miss - we haven't seen each other in almost 2 decades) is quite the demanding lady. She's very fussy. I plan to reacquaint myself with her one day.

I believe in detaching your self image and worth from physical appearance. I think long hair or short, relaxed or natural, women can have beautiful hair and be proud of it. An extension of that could be our obsession with whether we're busty or not, wide hips or no, nice shape or no, too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat, too dark, too light, nose too flat, lips too big....we can never be exactly what we desire on the outside (well, we can make a mockery of ourselves trying to pay for it) but we can work with what we got and make it happen!

In any case, we can always be exactly what we desire (& what God desires us to be) on the inside and at the end of the day, that is what matters the most.

word love: hymn

God be in my head, and in my understanding;

God be in mine eyes, and in my looking;

God be in my mouth, and in my speaking;

God be in my heart, and in my thinking;

God be at mine end, and at my departing.

-Sarum Primer, 1558

I love hymns. They are a comfort to me, and this week has been crazy here in my homeland (#1, #2, #3, and #4), and in the land of my birth (#1 , #2, #3, and #4)...don't get me started. People are sick. This world is twisted, sad, & unsafe. So I take a deep breath and just regroup.

Day 1

Ready Vicky???

LOL. Okay, we're off! It's day 1 of our May challenge. For the month of May, we are doing a modified special K diet and exercise (3 times per week) regimen to lose weight and tone our bodies.

What's a modified special k?

*One healthy correctly portioned meal for lunch/dinner

*Two Special k (cereal or shake)/cornflakes/oatmeal/healthy low calorie meals per day

*Healthy snacks throughout the day

*Plenty water

*Little to no sugar

There you have it. So every Monday morning, I'll weigh in and update my ticker (see below & on side bar). School is out and I have no reason to not be able to do this challenge successfully. I don't really need to lose 20lbs (more 15) but if I do, that gives me room to expand (teehee).

sweet sundays: sunshine

Summertime is upon us. Doesn't the brightness that greets you in the morning lift your spirits? God is amazing. Enjoy nature. Go out in the sun and soak in the wonder of it all. Take a deep breath.

I know, I know. The cancer risk etc. but hey, your body needs a little vitamin D sometimes :) I'm an island girl so I apologize for my disdain for sunblock. I know our bodies need it but I'm a regular ole' sunflower.

______________________________

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night"

Steve Martin

sweet sundays: the path less taken

Sometimes our baser human instincts take over in emotional situations and we react poorly. I hate when I overreact and have to backtrack, and apologize or I feel bad like if I saw the person at church or work or they turned out to be a family friend I'd be embarrassed. I'd much rather do it right the first time but since I'm not perfect, that does not always happen. When it does, I feel so much better about myself. There's an important lesson in knowing we don't have to be rude or crass to stand up for ourselves.

Something that happened last week reminded me of this. It's a Raf story. He doesn't want his pics on here but at least I can blog about him lol. For months he'd trained with this company for a position that he's wanted for sometime now. Finally, the training was completed and he began to work with the company. At the outset he explained that although he is willing to come in on Sundays, he would not be avail to work every Sunday. This is totally fair since he works Mondays-Fridays. In addition, it isn't required to come in on Sundays. However, one of the supervisors (a particularly rude one too that consistently gives employees grief) decided that he'd disregard that and every Sunday, he calls Raf. Oh, and even though Raf's requested less work on Sunday so he can get home at a decent time, he's been working past sunset on Sundays, then heading in early the next morn. Last Sunday, Raf decides he isn't going in. He's had a number of 6 day work-weeks in a row and needs a break. So as a courtesy (not required) he calls on Friday to inform them he's not available on Sunday. The particularly rude supervisor passes the phone to a colleague because how dare Raf not come in on Sunday when there's work to be done? The colleague is pleading for Raf come in but Raf can hear the other supervisor in the back ground complaining in a very argumentative manner that he MUST come in, he HAS to come in. Threatening, yes? I think so too.

Now, do I need to tell you about Caribbean males? Let me not stereotype widely. Jamaican men are VERY proud, and they don't take being disregarded or disrespected lightly. It would not be a stretch for Raf to put him in his place. Trust me. He can be rough...well, used to be. But he wasn't and I am so proud of him. What he did was drop off the equipment and company vehicle, call the administrator, and respectfully leave the position (she didn't want him to go but he explained the situation completely). Come Monday, he is being called repeatedly by said supervisor. When he finally speaks to him, supervisor apologetically asks him what happened and if there's anything they can do (yeaaa, act like you don't know). When Raf says no because he can't seem to have a decent conversation without being talked down to (even tho Raf's complained of this before). Supervisor's like "you know you can talk to me" and basically begs him to come back in so they can work out any differences amicably and with respect. So, Raf is back on the job. Supervisor is now mindful of his manner when dealing with Raf (if not other employees - can't expect too much now). & as usual Raf has a 100% IVR (ranking/rating system). Go babes!

Sometimes, people make it so hard for us to exhibit character traits that are attractive. They just push us to respond with our baser instincts. But thank God, sometimes, we hold on to our temper and take the higher road.

Be gone bad-man-isms! Be gone probably-you-neva-heard-a-mi!

I say choose the path less taken this week & the rest of your life...sometimes the results may not be desirable but if you walk away with your character intact, then what did you lose? Nada :) You in fact gained a world of dignity, self respect, and the admiration of those around you.