If I keep this in, it will poison me...

I am not quite sure if I have the appropriate words but if I say nothing, I fear all the angst I have trapped in my heart and mind will poison me. Now, I'm no politics and public affairs guru but I am a born and raised Jamaican and there are certain indisputable truths re: the situation currently taking place in my island home. I'm not even going to get too specific because I don't even think the issue is related to the situation currently taking place...it is a result of a culture of denial and stigma that has existed in my island home for as long as I have been alive (and certainly, before).

I am angry at us. Me, you, all Jamaicans. The Jamaican citizenry. I mean, how long have we lived with, ignored, sometimes benefited, or suffered at the hands of corruption on the island? I know only too well that when reported, the victims are ignored or silenced. However, what if by some miracle, literal and definitely spiritual (because only GOD can help), we all decide to say NO. Regardless of the outcome. No to the shady cops. No the extortionists. No to the slippery slimy politicians. No to the connection to help you get off from paying some fee/tax/fine/ticket. JUST #$%! NO. What if? What if we stop frickin' inheriting our political alliances? What if? This is not damn sports day. This is our future.

When I hear of the Jamaica of my parents and realize the damage that can occur in just one generation, I could weep. As a babe, I still had the opportunity to experience the well advanced rail transport system. My parents can talk of the number of well-equipped hospitals/health care facilities, the excellent tradition our small island had in academic, athletic, and cultural achievement (& to a lesser degree we still do due to blessings I tell you and not because we value and support the talents we've been entrusted with). Not to mention the richness of our soil and the beauty of our island, natural and man made.

There's more in me but I am spent.

See why I have nothing to say? Because people with the power to say something and actually effect change always sit silently or feel sorry for 'those people' in times of war but when everything quiet down, do nothing. Because we aren't being shot at, because we survived another flare up, and of course there's Hawkeye/Kings Alarm/gated communities/friends in high places to protect us. No one is piling bodies of our family and friends feet high because none of us have to live in or loot in or fight in/against or die in the ghetto. So, when it is all over, we go back to work and play, and the struggle continues in the rural and urban ghettos of Jamaica. More children. More frustration. More injustice. More poverty. More sickness. More starvation. More death. More sadness. More anger. Less opportunity. Less education. Less self worth. Less value.

girly fridays: relaxed or natural?

Does it matter?

There are a few theories out there but I'm gonna focus on the two that insult me the most:

1. Black women with relaxed or processed hair aren't proud of their heritage

2. Black women with natural hair look unkempt and ugly

First, all the sensible women out there know there's nothing to be done about changing your heritage. You can't walk into a salon, or your local beauty supply store and buy a new history/culture/heritage. You are who you are. If you look anything like me, you can't hide it lol.

Second, I love to see women embrace their natural texture. I think they look as beautiful and very well put together as any other woman who is careful about her appearance. I have friends who are natural who look fantastic (same for those who are relaxed) and the assumption that leaving our hair the way it grows out of our head as God intended is unattractive, is insulting to me.

I am black and my hair could be short, long, relaxed, natural, or I could be bald. That has absolutely nothing to do with the pride I have in my heritage. Yes, there are women who have issues with their hair and their identity as black people - that kind of insecurity stems from a number of places and is way more complicated than a relaxer. I understand that and I'm sorry for them. For me, hair is cosmetic. I want my hair to look good (I have a personal definition of that which is totally subjective and that's okay). Good looking hair is healthy, shiny, flattering to the wearer, and visually appealing to me. Bad looking hair comes in relaxed and natural. Trust me lol, I've seen it. & so does unkempt and unattractive. Matter of fact, all of that comes in various shapes, colors, and textures.

I have contemplated going natural before and truth is, in the good ole Jamaican slang, mi nasty and I can't bother. I honestly don't think I could comb it. The only possibility out there for me currently is locs and I don't like the commitment it requires. At all. But you never know. My mom just went natural...maybe she can teach me a few things. In any case, I will go natural eventually (the non locs type). My natural hair (which I miss - we haven't seen each other in almost 2 decades) is quite the demanding lady. She's very fussy. I plan to reacquaint myself with her one day.

I believe in detaching your self image and worth from physical appearance. I think long hair or short, relaxed or natural, women can have beautiful hair and be proud of it. An extension of that could be our obsession with whether we're busty or not, wide hips or no, nice shape or no, too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat, too dark, too light, nose too flat, lips too big....we can never be exactly what we desire on the outside (well, we can make a mockery of ourselves trying to pay for it) but we can work with what we got and make it happen!

In any case, we can always be exactly what we desire (& what God desires us to be) on the inside and at the end of the day, that is what matters the most.

word love: Dis Poem

dis poem

shall speak of the wretched sea

that washed ships to these shores

of mothers crying for their young

swallowed up by the sea

dis poem shall say nothing new

dis poem shall speak of time

time unlimited time undefined

dis poem shall call names

names like lumumba keyatta nkrumah

hannibal akenaton malcolm garvey

haile selassie

dis poem is vexed about apartheid racism fascism

the klu klux klan riots in brixton atlanta

jim jones

dis poem is revolting against 1st world 2nd world 3rd world division

man made decision

dis poem is like all the rest

dis poem will not be amongst great literary works

will not be recited by poetry enthusiasts

will not be quoted by politicians nor men of religion

dis poem is knives bombs guns blood fire

blazin for freedom

yes dis poem is a drum

ashanti mau mau ibo yoruba nyahbingi warriors

uhuru uhuru

namibia uhuru

uhuru soweto

uhuru afrika

dis poem will not change things

dis poem need to be changed

dis poem is a rebirth of a people

arizin awaking understandin

dis poem speak is speakin have spoken

dis poem shall continue even when poets have stopped writin

dis poem shall survive u me it shall linger in history

in your mind

in time forever

dis poem is time only time will tell

dis poem is still not written

dis poem has no poet

dis poem is just a part of the story

his-story her-story our-story still untold

dis poem is now ringin takin imitatin

makin u want to stop it

but dis poem will not stop

dis poem is long cannot be short

dis poem cannot be tamed cannot be blamed

the story is still not told about dis poem

dis poem is old new

dis poem was copied from the bible your prayer book

playboy magazine the ny times readers digest

the c.i.a. files the k.g.b. files

dis poem is no secret

dis poem shall be called boring stupid senseless

dis poem is watchin u tryin to make sense from dis poem

dis poem is messin up your brains

makin u want to stop listenin to dis poem

u need to know what will be said next in dis poem

dis poem shall disappoint u

beacuse

dis poem is to be continued

in your mind

in your mind

in your mind

by: Mutabaruka (Jamaican, 1952-)

Thank you, Andrew M. Manis

reblogged a.k.a. stolen

‘When are WE going to get over it?’

For much of the last forty years, ever since America “fixed” its race problem in the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts, we white people have been impatient with African Americans who continued to blame race for their difficulties. Often we have heard whites ask, “When are African Americans finally going to get over it?” Now I want to ask: When are we White Americans going to get over our ridiculous obsession with skin color?

Recent reports that “Election Spurs Hundreds of Race Threats, Crimes” should frighten and infuriate every one of us. Having grown up in “Bombingham,” Alabama in the 1960s, I remember overhearing an avalanche of comments about what many white classmates and their parents wanted to do to John and Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. Eventually, as you may recall, in all three cases, someone decided to do more than “talk the talk.”

Since our recent presidential election, to our eternal shame we are once again hearing the same reprehensible talk I remember from my boyhood. We white people have controlled political life in the disunited colonies and United States for some 400 years on this continent. Conservative whites have been in power 28 of the last 40 years. Even during the eight Clinton years, conservatives in Congress blocked most of his agenda and pulled him to the right. Yet never in that period did I read any headlines suggesting that anyone was calling for the assassinations of presidents Nixon, Ford, Reagan, or either of the Bushes. Criticize them, yes. Call for their impeachment, perhaps. But there were no bounties on their heads. And even when someone did try to kill Ronald Reagan, the perpetrator was non-political mental case who wanted merely to impress Jody Foster. But elect a liberal who happens to be Black and we’re back in the sixties again.

At this point in our history, we should be proud that we’ve proven what conservatives are always saying — that in America anything is possible, EVEN electing a black man as president. But instead we now hear that school children from Maine to California are talking about wanting to “assassinate Obama.” Fighting the urge to throw up, I can only ask, “How long?”

How long before we white people realize we can’t make our nation, much less the whole world, look like us? How long until we white people can – once and for all – get over this hell-conceived preoccupation with skin color? How long until we white people get over the demonic conviction that white skin makes us superior? How long before we white people get over our bitter resentments about being demoted to the status of equality with non-whites? How long before we get over our expectations that we should be at the head of the line merely because of our white skin? How long until we white people end our silence and call out our peers when they share the latest racist jokes in the privacy of our white-only conversations?

I believe in free speech, but how long until we white people start making racist loudmouths as socially uncomfortable as we do flag burners? How long until we white people will stop insisting that blacks exercise personal responsibility, build strong families, educate themselves enough to edit the Harvard Law Review, and work hard enough to become President of the United States, only to threaten to assassinate them when they do?

How long before we start “living out the true meaning” of our creeds, both civil and religious, that all men and women are created equal and that “red and yellow, black and white” all are precious in God’s sight? Until this past November 4, I didn’t believe this country would ever elect an African American to the presidency. I still don’t believe I’ll live long enough to see us white people get over our racism problem. But here’s my three-point plan:

First, everyday that Barack Obama lives in the White House that black slaves built, I’m going to pray that God (and the Secret Service) will protect him and his family from us white people.

Second, I’m going to report to the FBI any white person I overhear saying, in seriousness or in jest, anything of a threatening nature about President Obama.

Third, I’m going to pray to live long enough to see America surprise the world once again, when white people can “in spirit and in truth” sing of our damnable color prejudice, ”We HAVE overcome.”

-Andrew M. Manis via The Macon Telegraph

be a sweetheart!

So, it came to my attention that not all things sweet are tasty.

I was watching a popular show that had an entire chocolate room done by Godiva (yummmo!) and I've always wondered where on earth their chocolate came from because I know there is no cacao trees in Belgium, or Europe for that matter. Just curiosity. Color me surprised (not quite) when I found out most of the high end chocolate is from the birthplace of the cacao bean, the Americas, and the bulk of chocolate, 50-70% is from West Africa (think the more popular, cheaper, American brands). No surprise there. Of course, in the typical way of the world, most farmers of cacao (six major providers - Ivory Coast, Ghana, Indonesia, Nigeria, Brazil, and Cameroon) don't receive anything near a fair price for their goods, many of the workers are underage - don't do it to the children, pleeeease :(, some work in slave-like conditions, and most have never tasted chocolate.

Now I have little to no money but I think that supporting fair trade vendors is more important than buying my favorite Hershey bar, or Mars bar (Milky Way *long sigh*), or Nestle product (me love some Milo). Maybe when I see the prices of Whole Foods chocolate I'll eat less. Good idea all around. Soon, I'll be broke trying to eat and dress fair (yes, I am going to go there one day *sigh*). I know we all can't stop buying cheaper, more affordable food or clothing but we can make small changes where we can afford to...so next time you have some chocolate, try to make it as sweet as possible by supporting free-trade chocolatier. Be a sweet tooth with a heart.

Read more... and more

Of course I spent some time making sure that Catch chocolate was fair trade...click here for that info

________________________

"We must become the change we want to see." Mahatma Gandhi

"Every mickle mek a muckle." Jamaican saying.
Translated: every good effort, no matter how minor, can amount to something meaningful.

this week in review

-- In the news--

Numero uno - Vancouver winter Olympics. I am an Olympic gal, winter or summer. So I've been loving it. The beginning was sad with the death of Luge athlete, Nodar Kumaritashvili. Is there a reason those walls are so low? So sad. However, there are inspirational stories a plenty. The one of the Chinese pair figure skating coach, Yan Bin, got my attention in particular. Can you imagine not recognizing your own child because you'd been away so long working to make gold medalist skaters for your country? I hope he can retire soon. Who knew speed skating, biathlons, alpine skiing, and figure skating could capture my attention so fully? I'm proud of all the winners :) Does anyone know how the lone Jamaican skier did?

Toyota blues - They're calling it the Great Recall. O boy o boy! To think, the Camry for the past 2 or 3 years has been my dream. I mean, since I have to drive something before I get my Mercedes, and I need something sensible, why not? I always thought they were the most cost effective choice (most ppl consider Toyota, Nissan, & Honda to be somewhat comparable). Some how I went with the Accord instead and now I'm glad I did. I cannot keep track of all the models being recalled, or all the reasons. But I do know the U.S. regulators were slack on their standards during testing, that Toyota has had to (temporarily) close plants, and that I won't be in one any time soon. Have you noticed how Hyundai advertisement has been crowding TV? lol, them, Mercedes, Audi, and US manufacturers are taking advantage big time. I just Googled, and I guess I'm not the only one who noticed - click here.

Tiger's back - Am I the only person who doesn't care? I don't want to see any pics of him or hear about his return to golf. I guess golf fans missed him, women were mad at him, and yes, he may have some issues. Truth be told, I never really liked his public persona. He's done nothing to endear himself to me recently so I still don't care. He has LOTS of issues but who doesn't? If his wife is as gangsta as she's been made up to be, I'm glad of it, and she should keep the golf club elevated over his head until all's clear.

Clearly there's someone madder than I was yesterday. It's Joe Stack. Now he is some hero. All I have to say is, I'm glad I wasn't in that building, I'm sorry for all who were victims of his attack, and I'm relieved there werer't more casualties (though even 2 is already too much). He can be no hero of mine, flying planes into buildings of people working hard to survive what he was too coward to deal with. Real life. The rest of us are still here.

Give me free! Circus zebra breaks free and causes traffic in Atlanta. He prolly needed to go "find" himself...I mean, he doesn't even know if he's white with black stripes or black with white stripes! Yes ppl, I love me some Madagascar.

-- Funnies --

Quote of the week "Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed." Albert Einstein. Sooooo funny :)

-- Shumpy --

Mi back mi back mi back mi %#@ back! (& no, I don't know much more of the song lol) Well, I decided to add another class to my gym routine and it knocked me out of the gym all week. It has nothing on kickboxing of course but I must say I did one of those funky jazz dance moves wrong and now my hip is all out of whack. Well I'm back on Monday cause I can practically hear the fat cells rejoicing...

Biostats - I literally don't want to talk about it. I'm hoping if I keep my head down and close my eyes, my professor will forget I'm in the class :(

For those of us with undiagnosed seasonal affective disorder we are supposedly gonna have sunshine this weekend so no complaining at the moment. But with last week's storm, and Tuesdays mess, I'd just about had it! Supposed to see more snow showers Mon eve. Goody goody gum drops *smirk*

Counting my blessings! They finally sent my updated transit card so now I can purchase my bus passes via my pretax dollars that have been chillin' in my account while I shelled out of my pay check to get into work all Jan and most of Feb. Also, March is on the way, which means April is on the way, which means warmth, more living space (I'm moving!), and hopefully other great things.

Bad hair days have been numerous. I needed a relaxer like 2 weeks ago. But instead here I am going 10 weeks without one. I watched Good Hair, Chris Rock's documentary on black women's hair. It kinda sucked. I looked forward to it sooo much but that whole hair show segment ruined it for me. I don't know much about southern hair culture but I'd have done well without that. The other parts weren't so bad. I loved the barber/beauty shop talk parts the best. I'm still keeping my creamy crack, thank you very much. When I choose to give it up, I'm doing locs.

history

All this news on the Haitian earthquake has really got me doing cursory research into the history of Haiti. A few of my friends have also been seeking and sharing information - and nearly all major U.S. media outlets have been reporting - of a Haiti devastated and broken before the earthquake.

To quote John Henley of The Guardian, "Haiti has had slavery, revolution, debt, deforestation, corruption, exploitation and violence," says Alex von Tunzelmann, a historian and writer currently working on a book about the country and its near neighbours, the Dominican Republic and Cuba. "Now it has poverty, illiteracy, overcrowding, no infrastructure, environmental disaster and large areas without the rule of law. And that was before the earthquake. It sounds a terrible cliche, but it really is a perfect storm. This is a catastrophe beyond our worst imagination."

The article stated that the slave rebellion that began in 1791 and continued to November 1803, resulted in thousands of slaves being hanged, drowned, burned, and buried alive. This battle resulted in the first free black state in our hemisphere. Haiti declared independence on January 1, 1804. One would think that after such a brutal battle (on both sides) for freedom from reportedly one of the most inhuman and violent slave colonies, that Haiti would be able to reap the benefits of also being one of the most profitable Caribbean colonies. Not quite. It is reported that life expectancy for a Haitian slave was 21 years, and that despite the small size of the French colony in comparison to its counterparts, Haiti accounted for more than one-third of the entire Atlantic slave trade. France's success - Haiti exported 60% of all the coffee and 40% of all the sugar consumed in Europe in the 1780s - was built through dreadful abuse and exploitation. One former Haitian slave is quoted as writing "Have they not hung up men with heads downward, drowned them in sacks, crucified them on planks, buried them alive, crushed them in mortars?" when describing the atrocities they faced under the hands of the French. So, basically, the French slaves fought for their freedom in what was at the time a hugely successful colony that clearly the French did not want to lose.

One would think that the success of Haiti coupled with the fact that as Haiti gained its independence, the French Revolution in 1789, and the American Revolutionary War 1775-1783 were resulting in a new mindset of human rights (Declaration of the Rights of Man and the Declaration of Independence). Would that relate to the male citizens of the free black state of Haiti? Where would Haiti fit?

The Challenges

First off, the revolution left destruction to the Haiti's infrastructure and plantations. The other reasons appear to vary depending on who's doing the reporting. The Guardian article seems to place some blame on the decades of corrupt governance under Papa Doc (I wish I could promise to get back to this man but I doubt I'll get to him but the gall of his son making a donation to Haiti post-Jan 12 earthquake with the funds his family stole from the country!), the reparations that had to be paid to France, and the deforestation due to poor land management beginning with the French and then by the Haitian people as they cut it down and utilized it for housing, and charcoal. After reading this article I thought to myself, "the poor Haitians." It just seemed like they fought for independence so valiantly but due to poor land management, corrupt government officials, and a greedy France, they were destined to end up where they are today. Mostly very poor, with little to no infrastructure and no way to rebound from the slew of natural disasters they have faced recently. Further reading helped to offer some depth to the explanations given in The Guardian article.

Jamaican columnist, John Maxwell (Jamaica Observer) in his Jan 17th article No, Mister? You Cannot Share My Pain! helps explain how the reparations participated not only in the financial but wider crippling of Haiti. According to this article, the United States' City Bank offered the Haitians a 'debt exchange,' paying off the French reparation, or rather a portion of the debt, for a lower interest, longer term debt (that was paid off in 1947). This would seem to be offering a helping hand but it was this involvement and fear of Haiti defaulting on their loans that resulted in the US occupation of Haiti (1915-1934 -wiki source so read with care). During this occupation, the US seized their treasury, exiled their president, and instituted American Jim Crow policies to separate the society. Under US occupation, foreigners could own land in Haiti (versus Haiti's previous constitution that offered refuge and land to any escaped slave of any color only after they were made citizens and certified as 'black' regardless of color), the introduction of US enterprise resulted in the felling of old growth Mahogany and Caribbean Pine for doors, boats, etc. The deforested land was used to produce goods such as rubber and sisal for ropes. In fact, thousands of hectares of additional land was razed for agribusiness by the Haitian government in compliance with the US.

Maxwell quotes author, Marguerite Laurent as writing "Don't expect to learn how a people with a Vodun culture that reveres nature and especially the Mapou (oak-like or ceiba pendantra/bombax) trees, and other such big trees as the abode of living entities and therefore as sacred things, were forced to watch the Catholic Church, during Rejete - the violent anti-Vodun crusade - gather whole communities at gunpoint into public squares, and forced them to watch their agents burn Haitian trees in order to teach Haitians their Vodun Gods were not in nature, that the trees were the 'houses of Satan'."

The third and final article I will include in this post is by Sir Hilary Beckles. In his piece he fills in some blank spaces in the story thus far:

1. At the declaration of independence in the US, slavery had yet to be abolished...clearly if the US wasn't planning to free its slaves, having Haiti a free and independent state of black slaves was not necessarily the most ideal situation.
2. Reparations - the French refused to recognize the Haitian's hard won independence and instead declared them a pariah state. The US refused to recognize them, and the British who were negotiating with the French to obtain ownership of Haiti, also stood in solidarity with the French. To quote Sir Beckles, "Haiti was isolated at birth - ostracized and denied access to world trade, finance, and institutional development...Then came 1825...The economy is bankrupt; the political leadership is isolated. The cabinet took the decision that the state of affairs could not continue." This once flourishing French colony "had to find a way to be inserted back into the world economy. The French government was invited to a summit. Officials...told the Haitian government that they were willing to recognize the country as a sovereign nation but it would have to pay compensation and reparation in exchange." A value was placed on all lands, physical assets, citizens, animals, properties, and services.

This began the systematic destruction of Haiti as the payment amounted to 70% of the country's foreign exchange earnings. The last payment to France was made in 1922. Defeated on the battlefield, France had won on the field of finance. In the years when coffee crops failed, or sugar yield was down, the Haitian government borrowed on the French money market at double the going interest rate in order to repay the French government a debt they should not have paid at all.

The earthquake in "many ways...has been less destructive than the hate. Human life was snuffed out by the quake, while the hate has been long and inhumane suffocation - a crime against humanity."

3. A final note - in 2001 at the UN Conference on Race in Durban, South Africa, strong representation was made to the French government to repay the 150 million francs now valued at US$21 billion. Makes a lot of sense to me.

I hate when people harp on the past and use it as an excuse for lack of progress. I have never actually gotten passionate about the request of other groups of slave descendants requests for reparations because I see that as black people, because of the struggles of our ancestors, we have opportunity to succeed and do exceedingly well. In fact, I take pride in doing well without any special consideration even if it requires working doubly hard. However, I'm sure you'll agree that there is a debt owed to the people of Haiti. Not for the brutality of slavery, the profits from it, being made less than human and objectified, the rape of our mothers and sisters, or the murder of a generation of people, language, culture, and civilization, BUT the audacity of expecting these same marginalized people who have fought for their freedom to pay reparations to the source of all that abuse. That in no way was or ever will be fair and won't ever sit well with me.

DONATE TO THE HAITIAN EARTHQUAKE RELIEF EFFORTS
>>PARTNERS IN HEALTH<<
>>RED CROSS<<

I believe in donating time and money continuously but in times like these, it is good to help those in urgent and immediate need.

Knowledge is key. It is the first step to advancement. How will we better our future if we do not know the lessons of our past? The first obligation we all have to our children, siblings, relatives, and other human beings is to share the information we gain. If we do not know the history of our peoples and the world around us, how can we progress? There are some questions we never think to ask, and things we will possibly never encounter unless someone shares their experience and/or their knowledge. Even the smallest bit. Perhaps it will light a spark and encourage further inquiry. That alone is a gift.

Disclaimer: this post is blend of my opinion and the articles I have read. I have borrowed liberally but I have shared my sources. Read and come to your own conclusions. It is not for you to agree with me, BUT for you to seek!

_________________

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it"
George Santayana